Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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