I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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