so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
