I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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