Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
