your parents love me but you hate me
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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