you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
