maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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