when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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