You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
