It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My ass is underappreciated
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
