I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
