how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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