She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize