he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
