i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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