i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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