Fine. I'll sleep in my office
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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