Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
