The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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