I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
