I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
