you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
