The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she peed on how many people?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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