HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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