I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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