I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
