My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
