I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
