So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
