if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
