he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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