I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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