There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
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There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
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Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I know her cup size but not her name....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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