I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
