when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
