I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
