I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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