I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize