Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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