yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
