8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
