I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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