Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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