If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
