I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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