I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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