Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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