Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
