i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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