one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you win again, gameday.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You are the jesus of drinking
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize