Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Randomize
