He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Farmville is her only friend.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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