We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
We smell like vodka and hangover
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