I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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