Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
