I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
