I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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