i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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